Have Yourself a Merry Little Impractical Christmas

Snowman in space:
Space Age ornaments on our living room tree

Christmas is about as practical as sending a snowman into space. 

From budgets to diets to socks to trees, practicality is a lost cause during the holiday season.

The great Alastair Sim
as Scrooge

Ebenezer Scrooge was an abundantly practical man. His humbugging was practicality taken to extremes. By the end of his nocturnal journey, we see him abandon practicality, go for the biggest goose, and tip with abandon. He learns the hard way: Christmastime is no time for practicality.

Presents under the
living room tree, c. 1969

While no Scrooge, my father also learned that practicality had no place during the holidays. He offered us cash on Christmas morning instead of presents under the tree. (Yes, I’m Jew-ish; yes, I still grew up celebrating Christmas.) In the '70s and '80s, retail sales didn’t start until after Christmas, so his idea was that we could take advantage of the post-Christmas sales if we waited just one more day for gratification.

Of course, no one took him up on this offer. It may have been practical, but it was not fun. Fun trumps practicality every time. 

Then, there is the matter of artificial décor. I suppose I am slightly practical in this regard. Joe and I have not owned a real Christmas tree since the one with the impractical Polish hand-blown glass ornaments in jewel tones came crashing down in the middle of the night.

Living Room Tree, 2025

Instead, we opt for beautiful fakery. But there the practicality ends.

I realized that I might be going overboard with our holiday decorations when Brian, who manages our installation every year and works for the largest event designer in Cleveland, told me that no other clients of theirs do anything quite as elaborate as we do.

Indeed, it takes a team of three installers and an electrician working all day to create the holiday magic. Beautiful? Certainly. Practical? Not at all.

Finally, there is the seemingly practical matter of socks. Like the proverbial neckties that men sometimes receive on Christmas morning, socks are right up there on the practicality index. But not in my case.

The red and purple section of my sock drawers

I have a thing for socks. You might call it a sock fetish. I enjoy receiving socks as Christmas gifts.

Joe will tell you that I own more socks than I will ever get the chance to wear, even in rotation. In fact, I have so many that my sock wardrobe fills seven drawers, organized by color and stacked two or three high.

Whenever I get a new pair of socks for Christmas, my collection grows out of control. But I still ask for more each year. Who wants to be practical when there are so many socks to be had? 

Impracticality can be wonderful. We have all of January to be practical.

Now go and have yourself a merry little impractical Christmas.

Elves hanging from our sunroom chandelier 
- highly impractical

NOTE: There will be no post on Thursday, December 25th. Instead, my annual “Year in Review” will be published on Friday, December 26th.

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