Monsters in the Tropics
I'm writing from the beautiful Caribbean island of St. Lucia, where my ongoing fear of confronting my dreaded nemeses threatens to spoil an otherwise wonderful vacation. While I have gone several days without incident, I have a persistent, paralyzing, and completely rational fear of iguanas, lizards, and snakes. This phobia is crippling. I dread iguanas so much that I hesitate to visit places where they're ubiquitous, like Florida, Mexico, and the Caribbean. That's a lot of vacation spots. A Floridian iguana I have seen iguanas the size of alligators in Miami. And don't forget, in Florida, the iguanas fall out of trees. When they learn about my suffering, most people tell me that iguanas are “harmless.” This claim is neither helpful nor true. These intimidating creatures do serious harm to my peace of mind. The next cliché that always comes from well-meaning mouths is that “they are more afraid of me than I am of them.” Please. This is nonsense. Has any iguana ev...
