Christmastime for this Jew

At Wynn Las Vegas
December 5, 2023

As someone who grew up in a culturally Jewish family, the perennial Saturday Night Live video “Christmastime for the Jews” strikes a chord. Jews are perpetual outsiders, excluded from the most festive season and eating Chinese food on Christmas day. 

But that was never me. 

How could I resist?

My parents always did things their own way, and one of those things was to let us embrace the secular side of Christmas every December 25. 

This was a provocative move, sure to piss off both other Jews and Gentiles alike. Jews worth their kosher salt don’t believe in watering down their hallowed traditions with Christian observances. Period. Gentiles like to talk about the spiritual side of their holiday and the true meaning of the season. Wanting it both ways was at once outrageous, unprincipled, greedy – and wonderful.

My sister and I still love the trappings of Christmas. I give my parents credit for allowing us to enjoy a certain side of the season without guilt. I never said we were role models, but we had fun.

Our '60s Christmas tree

You could say our childhood tree was a nod to my mother’s partially Roman Catholic side of the family -- before her mother converted. My grandmother kept a tree hidden in her basement even after her conversion. Christmas does not go away easily.

But my parents did not bother to hide our tree. We loved the gift-giving, Santa Claus, cookies -- the whole nine yards, minus any religious component. 

In our youth, for a Jewish family, we had obscenely indulgent Christmases. There were so many gifts under the tree that one could hardly walk. 

When I lived in New York, the decorations would start going up on November 1. For a full sixth of the calendar year, you would feel like an alien if you could not in some way relate to the omnipresence of Christmas. The same is true now that I live in Cleveland. 

My collection of vintage pixies

I wish I could report that these days, December 25 is a humbler observance of Joe’s faith and customs. But that would be resoundingly false. Led by me, we indulge in an orgy of gift-giving. Joe is always telling me to tone it down. 

Our menorah with an interloper

For good measure, we light a menorah at this time of year, and I stumble through the one Hebrew prayer I know. Joe loves this tradition. As a mixed family, we each perhaps advocate for the other’s traditions more vehemently than for our own.

For what it’s worth, I also love the old Jewish traditions, mostly around food -- brisket for Passover, bagels and lox (Nova, actually) for break-fast. Our Christmas morning meal was always bagels and nova. I order myself the best smoked salmon in the country every year for the holidays. It is part of my newfangled celebration.

At 62, I do not believe I will ever quit Christmas. My parents let us get away with it all those years ago by indulging us in something secular and special. 

My most lasting gift was Christmastime for this Jew.

At the Rockefeller Center Tree
December 1, 2023