I Take "The Colbert Questionert"
Thirty-five questions are too many, especially given our shorter attention spans compared with those of people in Victorian times. Luckily, Stephen Colbert, whose show, much to my discontent, goes off the air tonight, created "The Colbert Questionert” with just fifteen questions that Late Show guests such as Keanu Reeves, Meryl Streep, and George Clooney have answered.
In The Late Show's penultimate installment last night, Colbert himself answered "The Colbert Questionert." Surprisingly, I found his answers less than pithy.
Here is my shot at it in honor of a soon-to-be late, great, late show.
Best sandwich?
Grilled Swiss on rye with a thin slice of tomato.
An open-faced Russ and Daughters Gaspe Nova with scallion cream cheese surpasses this, but some might not consider it a sandwich.
First concert?
Chicago, Cleveland Stadium, 1975.
What is the scariest animal?
The current president.
Apples or oranges?
Oranges, so much juicier.
Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?
Bette Midler (received) and Sandra Bernhard (also received, on a life-size poster of Madonna during their gal-pal days). Tina Turner (received).
What do you think happens when we die?
Not what we want to happen.
Favorite action movie?
The much-maligned 1971 James Bond film Diamonds Are Forever.
Here is my shot at it in honor of a soon-to-be late, great, late show.
Best sandwich?
Grilled Swiss on rye with a thin slice of tomato.
An open-faced Russ and Daughters Gaspe Nova with scallion cream cheese surpasses this, but some might not consider it a sandwich.
First concert?
Chicago, Cleveland Stadium, 1975.
What is the scariest animal?
The current president.
Apples or oranges?
Oranges, so much juicier.
Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?
Bette Midler (received) and Sandra Bernhard (also received, on a life-size poster of Madonna during their gal-pal days). Tina Turner (received).
What do you think happens when we die?
Not what we want to happen.
Favorite action movie?
The much-maligned 1971 James Bond film Diamonds Are Forever.
Window or Aisle?
Window. This works out great, because Joe is an aisle guy.
Favorite smell?
Anything with bergamot.
Least favorite smell?
Anything with sulfur.
Earliest memory?
Seeing blue-and-white wallpaper from my crib.
Cats or dogs?
Dogs, obviously.
You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it?
Lulu, “To Sir, With Love.”
What number am I thinking of?
13.
Describe the rest of your life in 5 words.
Thinking, writing, collecting, traveling, loving.
Favorite smell?
Anything with bergamot.
Least favorite smell?
Anything with sulfur.
Earliest memory?
Seeing blue-and-white wallpaper from my crib.
Cats or dogs?
Dogs, obviously.
You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it?
Lulu, “To Sir, With Love.”
What number am I thinking of?
13.
Describe the rest of your life in 5 words.
Thinking, writing, collecting, traveling, loving.
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