Work Was Never My Calling

NOTE: A slightly different version of this post originally appeared as an Op-Ed on cleveland.com.

“Find something you love, and you will never work a day of your life.” As far as naive beliefs go, this one ranks right up there with Santa Claus and the tooth fairy. The cliché irritates because it assumes that everyone has a calling in life.

This Labor Day, I admit I never found a job I loved. Achieving ambivalence was about as good as it ever got. I spent a 35-year career in marketing and communications trying to find myself, and I only succeeded in retirement.

Sometimes, I felt satisfied, successful, and even proud of my work. I was skilled at it. I devised strategies, told institutional stories, built websites, wrote press releases, and achieved results.

But calling this crazy quilt of achievements a “calling” is a stretch. I have felt drawn to become a professional magician and bread baker at different times. These were just fantasies. Some might call them juvenile. But following one’s whims is not the same as having a calling.

My LinkedIn profile shows that I have held ten positions since 1986. This doesn’t include my early jobs as a bookstore clerk, barista, and busboy—those were just the 'b' jobs, and they each ended badly.

My most recent job, doing marketing and communications work for the American Heart Association, went well. But it was not a calling. I felt like an alien when others would talk about getting “chills” and burst into tears during mission moments.

Organizations want workers who embrace their missions. But is this always realistic? They may set the bar too high by expecting employees to feel passionate about their work. What if it is just a job? Can’t the organization get good results without passion and “chills”?

Is it an existential failure not to feel called to one’s work? Is having a checkered work history like mine a mark of dishonor? I don’t think so. I identify with anyone who has ever resisted drinking the Kool-Aid at work.

Since quitting the working world, I’ve been living my best life. I have a newfound energy and honesty—I speak my mind freely without fear of judgment or self-censorship. 

Retirement is my true calling.

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