On Sharing a Travel Agent with Meryl Streep

For about six months in the early 2000s, I used the same travel agent as the world’s greatest actress.

My internet search for a travel agency that specialized in the needs of gay clients led me to a one-man shop in Chicago.

In addition to his niche travel business, the proprietor, David, owned another catering to general clients. His ego was more deeply invested in the “regular” agency. We were not on the phone with him for more than two minutes before he blurted out that his most prominent client was Meryl Streep.

So began an Oscar-worthy performance in the category of “Biggest Name-Dropper.” He wouldn’t let us forget that he also worked for Meryl, forcing it into every conversation.

David would prattle on about booking first-class accommodations for Meryl—“Meryl this” and “Meryl that.” We were getting to know her likes and dislikes, even though I had reservations about David’s discretion and professionalism. What a blabbermouth—but also, what an opportunity!

I’d be lying if I claimed that none of this gossip seeped into my fantasy life. Meryl Streep became just “Meryl” and part of Joe’s and my daily discourse. She was no longer just a face on a movie screen, but a palpable presence in our travel ideas.

I got to thinking, “What if?” What if David made the same recommendations to Joe and me that he made to Meryl? What if he sent us to the same high-end hotels and resorts? We might casually bump into one another ordering piña coladas at the pool and end up sharing an Italian villa. She would confer with me on co-stars, accents, and roles. Meryl then thanked her fellow travelers, Joe and me, in her Oscar acceptance speeches.

Meanwhile, back in reality, David messed up our account, and things got ugly. Names were called. Blistering emails were sent. There was bitchy behavior all around. I acted like a bigger diva than Meryl.

Going nuclear, I decided to look up her Hollywood agent’s name. It was easy to find this information online, and I was out for blood.

I sent the Los Angeles representative a tattle-tale email explaining that a Chicago travel agent was boasting to his customers that he arranged everything for Meryl Streep. Surely, Meryl would not appreciate having her name and personal business bandied about.

I never heard back from Streep’s agent, and David also went silent. I think I know how his infatuation with celebrity ended for him.

Like Sophie in one of his client’s greatest roles, David made his choice and would have to live with the consequences. He chose Meryl over Joe and me.

Joe and I have managed to get by all these years since these events without the advantage of Meryl's travel agent. Yet, every time I see her in a new role or at an awards show, I wonder how she got there and where she is staying.

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