Ghosted by my Primary Physician

A couple of years ago, without warning, my trusted primary physician of seventeen years—an individual as stable as they come—vanished from the face of the earth.

Ghosting is primarily experienced by those in romantic relationships when communication suddenly ends. It is unexpected in a medical context. I went to see Dr. M for a routine visit in March, and he gave me his usual spiel about diet and exercise. We exchanged pleasantries, and I was told to return in due time. Little did we know it would be the last time we would ever see each other—either in that office or, likely, anywhere else.

I got to know Dr. M as a kind, exacting caretaker when I developed a staph infection in 2006. I could sense his genuine compassion for me, and his care helped me recover from the illness and return to my baseline.

I liked him so much that I decided to stick with him—I didn’t have a regular doctor anyway. Over the subsequent years, we tangoed over diet and exercise. He was always calm, informative, and, above all, steady. Like many, I don’t enjoy going to the doctor. He made it tolerable.

Then, the bomb dropped. I was getting blood work done in May when the lab technician, in a chatty mood, told me that Dr. M had abruptly left my healthcare system.

Later, I received a letter that bluntly stated Dr. M was no longer employed by University Hospitals and listed six primary physicians in different locations throughout the city who were accepting new patients. Finding a new primary physician was discouraging and a complete hassle.

With some prodding, I managed to get a specialist to inform me that Dr. M had gone on vacation and received instructions not to return from the hospital administration. He had been involved in a scandal.

Dr. M eventually reemerged in private practice. His website stated he was “excited to enter a new phase of his career as a solo practitioner.” Hmm. My sister took a chance on him and had a terrible experience. So much for his kind touch.

I will always wonder what happened and hope to find out. It is human nature to want to know and achieve closure.

A primary physician is almost like a parent figure. We tend to believe their behavior will always be above board, and the possibility of them becoming involved in a “scandal” seems remote.

Above all, we do not anticipate being ghosted by a trusted caretaker. 

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