Joe's Turn 2: How Peter Ruined Me

Just kidding. Now that I have your attention, here's the deal.

With my birthday two days away, I am again taking over Vertes’Verities as an early gift from Peter. Last year, I gave a behind-the-scenes look at who really makes this blog tick (me) and shared some little-known facts about him. Now, I’m diving into how Peter has changed me over our twenty-four years together.

Relationships can change a person. We adapt and compromise, often to the point where our significant other’s quirks become our own.

If you know Peter, you know he has strong opinions on everything from favorite pizza toppings (none) to European clothing (preferred) to yellow flowers (avoid at all costs). Some of Peter’s views have rubbed off on me. Here are a few changes I have experienced, rated as good, bad, and ugly.

Days of Innocence (before Peter)

Profanity
Growing up, I attended parochial school for twelve years and even served as an altar boy for a short time. After college, I worked for nuns for almost twenty years. I didn’t swear like a drunken sailor, and the Sisters of Charity taught me to use suppressive expressions like “Oh, shinny.” Now, I find myself constantly dropping the f-bomb in my running commentary.
Rating: Bad and Ugly

Church
Speaking of religion, I regularly attended Sunday mass from childhood into young adulthood. Peter, who is not particularly religious, didn’t grow up this way. As a small business owner, I now work every Sunday morning when I would have been at church; however, the riders at my boutique fitness studio often compare their experience to attending a Sunday service. I have also learned to be more spiritual than tied to a specific religion.
Rating: Good

Eating Dessert
I never had much of a sweet tooth before Peter. I was more of a “give me an extra side of pasta” kind of guy and skipped the crème brûlée. But I’ve developed a new appreciation for dessert. It started innocently enough with a cookie here or there. Now, it’s a full-blown habit.
Rating: Bad

A weekly haul of Vitaminwater

Bulk Purchasing/Hoarding
Before I met Peter, my purchasing strategy was sane—I bought one or two tubes of toothpaste and a single bottle of Nyquil and figured I could always run out and get more as needed. Then I watched Peter stockpile everything from Q-Tips to beans (yes, beans) to Febreze air freshener (don't ask). When procuring staples for the home, I now find myself filling the cart with everything on the shelf, convinced it’s the apocalypse and we need 200 bottles of his favorite Vitaminwater. 

Rating: Good and Bad

Arts & Culture
Peter has deepened my appreciation for the arts. This goes beyond just attending orchestra concerts and museums. It’s about understanding and valuing the creativity, talent, and emotion artists pour into their work. Who knew that looking at a banana taped to a wall could be so inspiring?
Rating: Good

Buckingham Palace (travel);
Costa Rica (vacation)

"Travel" Versus "Vacation"
I learned early on that there is a huge difference between traveling and vacationing when taking time off. I like to hang out by the pool in tropical locales, while Peter gravitates toward cultural hubs in New York and Europe. We strike a balance between the two: he now values relaxation, and we both learn a thing or two along the way.
Rating: Good

As you can see, despite my attention-grabbing headline, Peter’s influence on me has been mostly positive. I’m grateful for the life we've built together. We have changed each other—that's the power of love. 

As I celebrate another trip around the sun, I look forward to more adventures, more desserts, and fewer "f*cks" coming out of my mouth. 

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