The Craigslist Killer

Joe and I have never had much luck finding domestic help. He prefers to do everything himself while I spectate. A formative experience with a shady character we later nicknamed “The Craiglist Killer” helps to explain how we got here.

About fifteen years ago, we invited someone we found on Craigslist to our previous home for a meet-and-greet. It was a busy evening before we departed for a vacation, and we were looking for someone to do handy work around the house.

When he arrived, this dude was rough. He had a menacing demeanor, a gravelly, low voice, shifty eyes, and a major neck tattoo. He moved slowly and slithered like a viper. From the moment he came in, he was scoping out the joint. Avoiding eye contact, his eyes went from object to object. He had a lot of questions about our belongings. He made Joe uncomfortable.

Perhaps because I was preoccupied with readying myself for the impending vacation, I was not entirely in tune with how off this guy was. I had things to do and left Joe in charge of interviewing this prospect.

In Joe’s telling of it, every sentence this man uttered sounded like he was robbing a bank or demanding a ransom. Upon surveying our belongings, he made the ominous comment, “You got a lot of nice stuff.”

Then came the moment Joe will never let me live down. We needed cash for our vacation, and I announced to Joe and the so-called Craigslist Killer that I was going to the bank to make a withdrawal. With that, I left Joe alone with this bad guy. Sometimes, we do and say stupid things.

Anyone who watches CSI can tell you this story might have had an unhappy ending. I should have known better, but I was on a different wavelength than Joe. I was gone for no more than 15 minutes. Joe phoned me from a locked room upstairs and had some choice words for me.

We lived to tell the tale and hoped that would be the end of it. But during our vacation, the Craigslist Killer left numerous vaguely threatening messages on Joe’s voicemail, wanting to know why we had not followed up with him or offered him any work.

Any child can tell you the moral of this story. Don’t talk to strangers. Don’t invite them into your home. Don’t announce you are going out for cash and leave them alone with your husband.

Today, I am more cautious about inviting people over. And Joe does a better job cleaning our home than anyone else, including the Craigslist Killer.