Extra: It Was a Gas, Gas, Gas

The Rolling Stones’ 2024 tour, sponsored by the AARP, attended by Boomers “on life support” (as Joe claimed), stopped in Cleveland Saturday night.

It was perhaps a sign of my own encroaching senility that, try as I might, I could not remember whether I had ever seen the Stones live before. Bowie, yes. The Stones? Was I in such an altered state that I recall nothing, or was there nothing to recall? 

I did not let any of that noise dampen my excitement. I voted for the song “Heartbreakers” -- which I put right up there with “Gimme Shelter” -- for the audience request track. I bought my "Some Girls" t-shirt on the Stones’ website in advance. I ordered a car service to whisk us to and from the venue without Joe having a traffic-related meltdown.

And in all objectivity, I was prepared to confront my critics, who found my excoriation of Madonna hypocritical while giving the Stones’ frontman, who is even older and still sashaying around like—well, like Jagger—a pass.

While it is true that I saw three different women face plant before and after the concert -- one undoubtedly on drugs -- all of Joe’s grumbling about the age of the audience members was a bunch of hooey. Everyone looked great. The air was thick with pot and anticipation.

The Stones took the stage at 9:25 pm. I got satisfaction immediately when laying eyes on Jagger. He was iridescent in a shimmering green number. The first tune, predictably, was “Start Me Up.”

I have nothing snarky to say about the show—no quips, jabs, or misapprehensions. Even the AARP sponsorship was a brilliant idea. The whole thing was bloody brilliant.

Jagger, at 80, is still a revelation -- thrilling, mesmerizing, can’t-take-your-eyes-off-of-him spellbinding. I got goosebumps during “Heartbreaker” and “Gimme Shelter.” “Miss You” was another standout. Merry Clayton was not there for backup vocals on “Shelter,” but her stand-in belted it out so loud that the stadium shook.

Keith Richards may have looked a bit worse for the wear -- wouldn’t you? No more drink, no more blow -- how is he even standing?

The Stones didn’t sing “this could be the last time,” but it was implied.

If it was, what a way to go out.