Ready for her Closeup: Madonna's Norma Desmond Tour
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| Non compos mentis: Madonna gets taken away by the cops in the "Celebration" tour |
Less a tour de force than a forced tour, Madonna’s “Celebration” concert, which stopped in Cleveland last Thursday night, might be the last we get to see of the old girl in a live show. Then again, maybe not.
She envisions herself at 65 the same as she did at 35, 45, and 55 -- but now, the forced titillation comes off as desperate and unhinged. This should rightly be her swan song.
Blonde ambition has given way to senior denial and, at times, a break from reality. This once-powerful icon of youth and sex does not see the same thing when she looks in the mirror that we now see, and she wants to keep making us see it well into her golden years.
Watching Madonna here in Cleveland last Thursday night with a bunch of aged Boomers -- some in their '70s and donning bustiers and cone bras -- didn’t so much bring her glory days to mind as it made me think of the silver screen’s original fading star – campy Gloria Swanson as Norma Desmond.
Check, check, check. Like so many wax figures, the onstage parade of former Madonna personae shows the star trapped in previous, younger, and more successful incarnations of herself. The mistress of reinvention has run out of ideas when it comes to portraying herself as an authentic, dignified 65-year-old. With a stunning lack of imagination, she clings to a faded, plasticized version of sexy Madonna while withholding anything fresh and new.
How sad that, despite her earlier success as a groundbreaker, reinventor, and yes, icon, she cannot imagine herself at 65 without the lingerie. How cringe-inducing that she appears with semi-nude dancers and four of her children.
For her final costume change, Madonna switched references while remaining washed-up. She came out in a head scarf that gave strong Little Edie vibes -- if Little Edie didn't wear pants. Grey Gardens, here she comes.
I was once obsessed with Madonna. In New York, I had a life-size poster of her in my Rockefeller Center office. I stalked her, All About Eve-style, at the stage door of Speed-the-Plow, her one turn on Broadway, hoping to make eye contact or score an autograph. I played "Like a Prayer" so loudly and repeatedly that my neighbors pounded on the walls at 2 am.
Little of the thrilling star that drove me to those lengths remained in evidence at last Thursday's tepid affair.
If the “Celebration” tour is any indication, we haven’t seen the last of Madonna. Unless she floats one of her deranged fans in a swimming pool and, non compos mentis, gets taken away by the cops, she will still be stuffing herself into a bustier at 80 like it is still 1983.
She envisions herself at 65 the same as she did at 35, 45, and 55 -- but now, the forced titillation comes off as desperate and unhinged. This should rightly be her swan song.
Today's Madonna is for die-hard fans only. Maybe Only Fans will be the next stop on the Celebration tour.
The former Material Girl is still writhing on the bed, simulating sex acts, parading around in underwear, and forcing gay men like me to ogle body parts that should rightly be stuffed into more age-appropriate and less cringe-inducing costumes.
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| Reenacting a much earlier succès de scandal |
Blonde ambition has given way to senior denial and, at times, a break from reality. This once-powerful icon of youth and sex does not see the same thing when she looks in the mirror that we now see, and she wants to keep making us see it well into her golden years.
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| The immortal Gloria Swanson as Norma Desmond |
Instead of retreating admirably into the sunset, Madonna gave us Sunset Boulevard -– Billy Wilder’s classic 1950 film noir tale of fading stardom, age denialism, delusion, and ultimately, insanity. Madonna is ready for her closeup – and I mean, as was the case with the fictional Desmond, a trip to the looney bin.
A quick little Google reveals that “thematically, Sunset Boulevard explores the destructive nature of fame, the loss of identity, and the price one pays for success in the entertainment industry. Norma Desmond's delusional obsession with her former glory reflects the hollow nature of celebrity and the inability to adapt to changing times.”
A quick little Google reveals that “thematically, Sunset Boulevard explores the destructive nature of fame, the loss of identity, and the price one pays for success in the entertainment industry. Norma Desmond's delusional obsession with her former glory reflects the hollow nature of celebrity and the inability to adapt to changing times.”
How sad that, despite her earlier success as a groundbreaker, reinventor, and yes, icon, she cannot imagine herself at 65 without the lingerie. How cringe-inducing that she appears with semi-nude dancers and four of her children.
For her final costume change, Madonna switched references while remaining washed-up. She came out in a head scarf that gave strong Little Edie vibes -- if Little Edie didn't wear pants. Grey Gardens, here she comes.
I was once obsessed with Madonna. In New York, I had a life-size poster of her in my Rockefeller Center office. I stalked her, All About Eve-style, at the stage door of Speed-the-Plow, her one turn on Broadway, hoping to make eye contact or score an autograph. I played "Like a Prayer" so loudly and repeatedly that my neighbors pounded on the walls at 2 am.
Little of the thrilling star that drove me to those lengths remained in evidence at last Thursday's tepid affair.
If the “Celebration” tour is any indication, we haven’t seen the last of Madonna. Unless she floats one of her deranged fans in a swimming pool and, non compos mentis, gets taken away by the cops, she will still be stuffing herself into a bustier at 80 like it is still 1983.
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Love this! So funny!
ReplyDeleteHahaha. Brilliant piece! Kinda sad but so true.
ReplyDeleteI love it Peter and agree totally!
ReplyDeleteI remember you insisting she was still relevant circa 1991, when the media dismissed her as a relic of the 80s! Also, interesting contrast with Debbie Harry - who is still singing in her 70s but in more modest attire...
ReplyDeleteYou should write about Jagger or Steven Tyler or other dudes who are allowed to be "sexy" in their dotage. Madonna isn't because she contravenes our ideas of what is "sexy" or "appropriate." Commenter above mentions Debbie Harry as being "modest"--happy to judge, but based on what norms? His presumably. Massive societal double standard here.
ReplyDeleteRight on the money Peter ! ! ! WELL WRITTEN ! ! ! Always enjoy the humor ! ! ! Thank You.
ReplyDeleteOh to be inside her head for a minute or two! Now Cher, that’s how you do it. Good read - thanks Peter!
ReplyDeleteI love this Peter, and it make me pine for what might have been for the big M had she re-imagined herself along side a stiff shot of honesty and maturity. It needn't have been staid. An edgy Madonna with her scars proudly on display would be something to behold. Obviously, she can't handle the truth.
ReplyDeleteAnd lastly: Dear Lady Gaga: TAKE NOTE.
This is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteYou have hit it right on the mark with this one. She could reinvent herself as a dignified and stylish older woman for all the gals and guys that grew up worshiping her instead of trying to keep up with much younger talent. There is so much good she could do for the world, but as you say, she is stuck in her youth and can’t see herself any other way. Sad
ReplyDelete