Why I Am Re-Retiring

Joe and I visit Stonehenge, the original model for my retirement
(October 2022)

There’s an old joke: “The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” The late, sagacious basketball coach credited with this insight was onto something.

When I retired one year ago, with no sense of irony or small amount of bravado, I announced my extensive post-employment work plans. Enabled by a well-meaning but malleable life coach who had no personal experience with retirement, I developed six monumental, Stonehenge-like pillars for my new life. 

A monolithic set of priorities -- travel, learning, self-care, volunteering, exploring spirituality, and writing -- would keep me sharp and out of trouble, even as I struggled to remember them all. I made a PowerPoint presentation with a slide for each of my retirement goals. People's eyes rolled into the backs of their heads after they made the mistake of politely inquiring about my plans.

My working friends diplomatically suggested I was setting myself up as a retirement “overachiever.” Others just thought I was a fool and a freak. Kicking back on the couch and watching TV seemed like bliss to some, while one candid female colleague indignantly snapped, “Why are you doing all of this?” Even the life coach seemed a bit incredulous. 

Today I realize that sometimes, the joy of retirement comes with realizing the hassles of work are no more. That I no longer have a boss, attend endless meetings, put up with office politics, or have to strive for anything that's not a personal priority will dawn on me while peeling an onion or watering a plant. Shedding the indignities of the working world from my quotidian existence floods me with gratitude.

But life is not defined by absences. Time does not fill itself.

I find it death by intellectual asphyxiation to consume all but infinitesimal amounts of television. But I have also fallen short of realizing my original post-work fantasies. I am not reading as much as I’d like. My spiritual program is stalled. And while I engage in regular personal training, working out is hardly my passion.

So were my retirement goals all smoke and mirrors? Have I heeded the clarion call of the couch? Am I a retirement loser? 

Not so fast. 

My abundance of newfound free time does not necessarily mean every moment has to be spent virtuously or that my foci remain static. I do not have to accomplish everything all at once. I am so busy watering plants in the summertime that it is a successful day if I can manage to keep my plants alive and make gazpacho. 

The original priorities have shifted. Cooking was never on the list, yet I do it almost daily now. Travel is great in moderation -- too much overwhelms the senses and requires unwanted separation from my canine family.

Stonehenge, with its immovable monoliths, should not have been my metaphor for retirement. Retirement is better experienced as a laboratory for experimentation. 

My one constant -- writing -- is revealing itself to be my biggest joy. 

I am not pillorying my retirement pillars so much as applying common sense and going with the flow. I do not have to work so hard at this to be content. 

With a sense of liberation, I am hereby re-retiring. And taking more days off to enjoy the view.