Skin and Sin in Los Cabos

From my current vantage point poolside in Los Cabos, I can report that we have become a society of exhibitionists. I am unsure of when letting it all hang out became so rampant, imperative, or brazen, but here we are. Open your eyes from a catnap at your own peril. 

Away from the demands of work, routine, and accountability, the human spectacle on display is prodigious. So is the amount of flesh, bad taste, and shameless behavior. 

As anyone who’s watched The White Lotus knows, inhibitions melt away and dignity goes out the window at tony resorts. Here at Nobu Hotel, even the refined spirit of the eponymous master chef cannot induce people to keep their clothes on. 

Hotel management is well aware of the guests’ propensity to shed clothing and decorum. Our suite's private pool comes with a set of instructions reminding us that swimwear is mandatory and that we are to “avoid rough play and scandalous behavior.” 

Meanwhile, at the main pool, we encounter a young male couple who like to smoke extremely pungent weed and then traverse the water’s length while engaging in bold public displays of affection. Where are the scandal cops when you need them? In their own bubble, these unabashed lovers parade in front of me and Joe hourly, oblivious to our wish that they would take it back to their room. Wannabe extras in a Nicki Minaj video, their show is for everyone to see.

Another man in his early thirties sports an abundant, free-flowing hairstyle that evokes mid-career Diana Ross. He, too, is putting on a show. Tall with equine mannerisms, he prances around in a kaftan and then dramatically removes it to reveal a bikini bottom. He first appeared with a long, flowing mane; when it came time to immerse himself in water, he added two feet to his height by whipping up all that hair into a precariously towering Marge Simpson beehive.

And don’t get me started on the scores of women who have taken to wearing thong bottoms. Unfortunately, we have been seeing this for years. No longer a fad, bare bottoms of all shapes and sizes are today’s norm. Call it cheeky, but from my perspective, these women who are exposing their entire backsides are making complete asses of themselves.

Not exactly church ladies ourselves, Joe and I nonetheless feel positively prudish -- and powerless -- amidst this aggressive pageant of flesh and prurience. 

We try to take our 7 am breakfast in peace, but the NC-17 behavior follows us wherever we go. Even at this hour, an older man comes along with his decades-younger companion. You can surmise for yourself what kind of companion would have him. He proceeds to spank her on the rear end so hard that the sound reverberates, echoing above the thrum of the ocean’s waves.

It was the butt-slap heard around the resort, loud enough to awaken the other lovers and hedonists to another delightfully debauched day in paradise.