A Royal Whine

The Rainmakers: Harry and Meghan
Photo: Getty Images

The original draft of this post tentatively asserted that, despite my better judgment, I had a modicum, a smidgeon, a soupçon of reserved and tenuous regard for that royal troublemaker, Prince Harry. The pressure he must have felt to stick with the monarchy was real. He wanted out of a system that was extinguishing his spirit and threatening his family’s safety, as it did for his mother. I could not blame him for rejecting an existence that entrapped and undid Diana in such a public and shameful way.

That was all before this week’s televised self-indulgence. And deep-seated victimhood. 

Harry and Meghan’s media blitz, still in its infancy, has turned the tide, and I now must side with the critics who deride Harry as a spoiled, recalcitrant, hypocritical PR disaster whose youthful transgressions were egregious, even unforgivable.

 

I see for what it is the hypocrisy of rejecting the monarchy, moaning about privacy, and turning around to cash in on it all and bring it to a living room near you. The two are nothing short of royal mercenaries, making it rain millions with their nonstop whining.

 

For the British broadcaster Piers Morgan, the new Netflix “documentary” reveals that “the world’s biggest victims are in fact Meghan Markle and Prince Harry, a pair of incredibly rich, stupendously privileged, horribly entitled narcissists." Duh, Piers. Tell us something we don’t already know.

 

The New York Times noted that two reviewers found this documentary vomit-inducing.

 

But leave it to the show biz rag Variety to offer the most trenchant critique of Harry and Meghan: “As with the most recent, painfully dull season of The Crown, there seems a sort of narrative stuckness, an inability or lack of desire to find the next thing to say that we haven’t yet heard.” 

Indeed, their act hasn't changed much since they told it all to Oprah early last year.

 

In documentaries as in The Crown, it is one thing to cause scandal, but to give us a redundant and boring one is intolerable. With her entertainment industry background, this should be second nature to Meghan. Where the Sussex Duchess might have brought her best show business razzle-dazzle, she and Harry only grate and alienate.

 

With pith, the great Howard Stern summed it up Tuesday by saying that Harry and Meghan is “like the Kardashians, except boring.” 

 

So I can no longer even postulate that it takes some guts to walk away from the familiarity of pomp and palaces – for what, exactly? A luxe California lifestyle and media deals that more stimulating but less privileged content creators might only dream of.

In this latest round of the royal sibling rivalry, dignity and a stiff upper lip win out over puerile pouting. Put me down for Team William and Kate.