Vampires? What Vampires?

I have always loved the Halloween season. The crisp weather. Watching horror movies. Imaginations running amok. 

From my earliest memories of selling Kidney Foundation witch-, ghost-, and scarecrow-shaped bags of hard candies door-to-door out of my sister's baby carriage to watching and even crawling (don't ask) in the Greenwich Village Halloween Parade, my Boomer's passion for October 31 has never subsided, only evolved over the years.

I admit that the spectacle of a 60-year-old trick-or-treater might give everyone the wrong kind of creeps. Perhaps, like me, you’re looking for a way to get into the spirit this October in an age-appropriate manner. Let me recommend something. Oh -- and in fair warning: a modest spoiler lies ahead.

 

My favorite Stephen King book is the 1975 horror novel ‘Salem’s Lot. What a great read! A soap opera set in New England, it has memorable characters, an intricate plot, and mounting suspense. It scared the living crap out of me when I first devoured it almost 40 years ago. At the time, I was the only person still living – make that, “residing” -- in a gothic dormitory. Under King’s spell, I remember being too frightened to go down the hall to use the bathroom.

 

King’s legions of fans also revere this book. There’s only one problem: I’m pretty sure the author did not intend to reveal the precise affliction plaguing the hamlet of ‘Salem’s Lot until he was good and ready – midway into the story. What kept the tension building and me turning the pages my first time through was not quite knowing what was wrong with the denizens of this strangely compelling town. 

Original Cover Art -- no fangs, no blood

Here comes the spoiler. 

Go onto Amazon, and you’ll see dozens of reviews with headlines like “The Definitive Vampire Horror Novel,” “Amazing Vampire Novel, “Fun with Vampires” -- and my favorites, “Best Fictional Book Written on the Subject of Vampires,” “Real Vampires for a Change,” and, to sum up, “Vampires Before They Lost Their Balls.” 

 

In the ‘80s, I worked in the publicity department of King’s publisher, Viking. Because of King’s cash cow status, they threw a Halloween publication party for an otherwise forgettable book, Nightmares in the Sky.

 

I decided to attend the party in a rented gorilla costume (something I do not recommend). To this day, it is humbling to admit that, even in a gorilla costume, everyone recognized me without hesitation. “Oh, hi, Peter.” “Nice gorilla costume, Peter.” “Where’d you get that, Peter?” No surprise reveal there.

 

Like me in a gorilla costume, ‘Salem’s Lot may have lost its capacity to disguise what’s underneath it all. With a new movie adaptation possibly coming next year, you’ll just have to go into it knowing there are bloodsuckers involved. 

 

But if you’re looking for a rewarding, atmospheric way to get in the mood this spooky season, I recommend giving it a go. 

 

More Halloween frights next week. Did I mention this was my favorite time of year?